Reality can distort reality — Creating a better life for HSP’s by Amber DeAnn.

Spirit communicating with humans

 

When I, HSP,  was growing up in the dysfunctional work addiction farm family. Work, work, work, was everywhere. Mom was always cooking, doing laundry, or driving the men from one field to another. Dad was always in the fields- planting, disking, adjusting the irrigation system, or harvesting.

Then we had to care for the animals- feeding or farrowing animals. The chickens laid eggs that had to be gathered and analyzed for our egg route in the city.. The garden needs hoeing, or the peas needing picking, or the tomatoes. The cattle and hogs had to be farrowed- the females impregnated so we could have baby pigs and calves to raise for market.

Something always needed our attention.

It seemed that work was the secret sauce creating success. OR was it?

Where was the spiritual realm,— the peaceful, loving life, being part of a community, having fun, and nourishing your spirit?

Church sermons talked about being in connection with God, hearing angels sing, and walking with Christ consciousness. A big blank appeared in my head. I couldn’t relate to what they were saying.

Spiritual studies talk about humans having the power to create their own life, manifesting their desires, having your core emotional and mental needs met and getting answers to their life problems from the Divine. REALLY? HOW?

Reading spiritual books about consciousness, divine reality, and empowerment created my yearning for this connection, illuminated the potential, but always mentioned the path forward was through meditation.  But my nervous system could not calm down and trust the process of having a calm, peaceful mental attitude.

As an abused child with a strung out nervous system, I was always on the alert for the next danger not the next opportunity of expansion. And a peaceful mind, was way beyond my comprehension. Meditation might would work for others, but NOT for me.

One day I stumbled upon the secret— To create a new life, you have to envision the new life. You have to imagine it. Unable to imagine at that time of my life, I used reverse logic to create a starting point.

I would imagine the opposite of what i was living. Instead of criticism, I would imagine praise. Instead of being ignored I would imagine being in the spotlight with lots of people applauding me. Instead of nobody to go to movie with me, I would create a couple of close friends who loved that type of movie. Instead of having no one to hear my poetry, I would join a poet’s writers club and read to them. The glee that surrounded my heart came from feeling this dream—this visualization. It was like being a child and being lifted up to see the sun.

Yes, imagination was the key and from that a better life would flow ONCE I mastered the emotions that were holding me back by shifting their power and focus to what I REALLY WANTED TO CREATE. To feel, to visualize, to imagine, to step into the potential of the future, to be in the energy of the possibilities for the future, that was my new quest.

In the next episode of my journey to explore the secrets of HSP life and I will look at the following topics:

How do you use your imagination?   What would you like to create?

Emotions – trigger food choices — health 

 by Amber DeAnn 

 

Feeling sad can lurk you into eating happy junk food ie, popcorn. This elicits the happy, relaxed feeling of being at the movies with a bag of popcorn. Or maybe you have fond memories of eating ice cream at a picnic with friends, so you eat a whole carton of ice cream tonight while you remember the feeling of being at a picnic.

Feeling abandoned can lurk you into eating potato chips, cookies and chocolate thinking you are pampering yourself— showing yourself love. 

Feeling angry can cause us to wander into the “fight, flight or freeze” response of the nervous system. Then our digestion stops and the nutrients we normally get from food gets hijacked. 

Anger is also avenue into sadness, anxiety and antagonism which further kicks in the stress hormones.  This destroys brain neurons associated with judgement, short term memory and weakens the immune system. This further lead us to eat the junk “fast” food. 

And the circle of emotional eating appears. Right? 

I eat to stuff my feelings because if they were to arise I might explode like a volcano and spew hate, anger, resentment all over other people and they would resent me. I stuff my feelings because that’s what we did at home. Eat- stuff – eat – stuff. But the stuffed anger & resentment 

don’t go away and i keep eating.

So i eat to avoid my feelings because I don’t know how to express them, or my expressing them would hurt another person, or offend another person.Then I will have to deal with the backlash as others share their negative feelings about me and the the war of words will be on. I can’t deal with this— it’s too overwhelming. So I tell myself feelings are not important.

Yet the next time my true feelings come up, I choke them back down with food. Then the weight and other health problems drop in. 

I eat because I’m bored and I’ve picked up the cultural message from others that food fills the void. But I’m now feeling more lonesome when i eat because eating alone reminds me that I’m missing the fun of being at a party and eating with others, so I eat more to assuage my remorse about not being at a party right now. But the lonesome feeling doesn’t leave and keep eating until my weight becomes a problem – stress on my joints, digestive issues, heart problems, possibly diabetes. 

The  best solution is to identify and address the emotions as they come up.

 Contact – me at  [email protected]

 

Walking Through Art (Van Gogh impressions)

Captivated by the promotion email, I stared at the photos of the experience of walking in the art of Van Gogh. It was a new exhibition at an art gallery in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and it grabbed my heart and excited my soul. So I had to go.

In November 2023 on a sunny day while the rest of the city was participating in or cheering on a run through the streets of Tulsa, I entered the dark gallery and the life of Van Gogh.

A sensitive (HSP) but troubled, lost soul spoke to me through excerpts of his letters to his parents and brother about his feelings, art, yearnings, and life challenges. He loved nature, painting, creating, and putting the world into mystical colors that revealed his search for the Soul of nature and the people in it.

Yes he was sad, lonely, isolated, alienated from almost everyone, his family and other painters,
but his paintings spoke volumes of his love for color, and design showing the motion of emotion, the alive serenity of evening, joy of sunflowers, the barrenness of cities, and the character of common people.

His heart, soul, and emotional art captured the unspoken spiritual essence of the highs and lows of human earthly spiritual experiences. It was a snapshot of life and nature mirroring each other.

The exhibition excelled at enlarging and showing a flow of muted to bright color imagery that wraps around the heart, soothes the busy mind, and invites the soul to float through his world.

I feel we can live in the joy and wisdom of colors, the peace and changing seasons of nature, and enhance our Spiritual connection. We can all prosper through the interconnectedness of intuition, emotions, and intellect.

Stop Lying to Yourself- Let Spirit Talk to you

Do you lie to yourself? or Are you ignoring looking at the truth because it is too painful?

We have all been there. It’s called the socialization part of you meets your rational mind and together they try to figure out WHY this thing is happening to you.

The socialization part says “hide”—Hide your feelings, Hide your thoughts, Hide your tears. In public smile and act as if everything is perfect.

And the rationale mind acting like a computer repeats the same behavior you have done in the past. It does not understand or listen to the subtle gut feeling saying “I don’t like this and I don’t want to do it anymore. Now get me out of here.”

Your rational mind says,  “I’m In a Rut.”

Here is a real life example from a client of mine during a counseling session.

Why does he treat me like that? What is going on? Why do I keep repeating the same bad behavior? My client said as she looked at me inquisitively.

“Your subconscious already knows what you need to do about the bad boyfriend situation— you stated it right here in the questionnaire–“He is so much like my father,” I said.

The ah ha moment had arrived. Her eyes widened, her attention was riveted on me. “Yeah, that is right. That’s what I am feeling.”

                         Listen to Your Own Truth

As Allan Hardman says in his article, On Telling Ourselves the Truth, “Have you ever thought about how much we lie to ourselves. Think about it! How many times do you talk yourself out of what you’re feeling because your truth might hurt somebody?”

“We are well programmed from our childhood “domestication” to lie to ourselves. And to each other. …It is more like we fool ourselves. Don’t pretend to like some people more that you really do? Don’t pretend to like yourself more that you really do,” Hardman says.

For your life is controlled by your soul. Your experiences are for your own personal journey. Denying your feeling of being finished with an activity or a person or a personal behavior only keeps you locked in the situation you are trying to change and will only cause more confusion and suffering and distance yourself from your objective and the peace your soul seeks.

Help is only around the corner— have an honest talk with yourself and you will see the truth.

Find your voice — Listen to your Inner Truth

Amber DeAnn, Life Coach — [email protected].