PTSD & Community

PTSD HEALING — FROM CHILD ABUSE

PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder. It is commonly associated with war veterans, car accidents, plane crash, hurricane or earthquake experiences. But there is a more common source of trauma — the family.

If you grew up in an abusive family, meaning there was a lot of yelling, belittling, parental bullying, physical beating, mental mind control, restrictions on behavior, social isolation, etc you were in a type of war situation. You were caught in the hurricane of identifying the harm, reacting to it in a self protective manner and still trying to co exist with the family.

You learned:

• self protection techniques— both physical moves and mental retorts to minimize the harm to yourself when your parents went ballastic.
• to pay attention to facial clues, body posture, vocal inflections of your parents and how
• Pay Attention to how you are reacting to problems or challenges in your life.
• how to bury your thoughts, feelings of parental behavior and just observe.
• how to word your requests in the correct vocal tone, with the right words and in the right timing so you could meet  your social, emotional, physical needs

Do you notice that all of these skills are people pleasing? None of them are learning about you- your skills, talents, needs, life goals, life mission, preferences. That is where the long lasting harm of child abuse sets in.

THE RECOVERY PROCESS ELEMENTS

The recovery process involves the following elements —

RECOVERY OF THE BODY

BIOLOGY OF TRAUMA – what has happened inside your body

Currently there are abuse survivors who have become naturapathetic doctors and now teach the human body chemistry systems that have gone astray during the abuse period.

It is essential that we replenish & rebalance our body’s natural hormones — those used for nervous system regulation and digestion, immune, and body function maintenance. This will take several months of focused attention and self discipline to incorporate new supplements into your diet.

FOODS

And the comfort foods you are addicted to like candy, desserts, bread, ice cream, burgers and fries will have to go too. Your path back to wellness includes a total body  cleansing and revamping.

This is a big job and it will take definite determination, a strong sell will and self love, but the results are so worth it. 

RECOVERY FOR THE MIND

This will involve:

• accepting and loving yourself
• learning new self care techniques
• monitoring your reactions to everything
• expressing yourself in every way you can
• having fun with art, music, movement, writing
• building a support community of like minded people

A REAL EXPERIENCE & START OF RECOVERING

My experience with child abuse created an environment of being centered on others and trying to pacify others (parents, authority figures) to ensure my safety and ignoring my needs.

When I started my healing journey I had joined the 12 step program in Des Moines Ia at the suggestion of my friend who was in recovery from alcohol addiction. I loved the meetings and listening to the honest concerns and challenges of others trying to find themselves.

But the real power was in the 2 day retreat where we focused on answering questions that explored what we felt and thought about ourselves. I was dumbfounded. I could not easily answer any of the simple, direct questions. I stared at the sheet and checked in with my feelings only to discover a blank wall. I walked outside during break in a trance, returned and still could not feel anything. I had a real problem.

In the following months and years my journey back to feeling took me through hours of breathing exercises, sitting with my shut down self struggling to raise a feeling about myself- what did I like? What did I need in my life?

All I felt was anger— that I could easily write about, feel, talk about, scream out while pillow beating. That lasted for years.

Then I needed to feel me in my body again and that led me to years of breathing exercises to push out the pain and adjust my aura to return to full body functionality. I remember standing with my hands moving up and down in the air around my body trying to stretch my small aura back so I could  encase my legs and feet in my aura. (This is a signal of sex abuse)

Eventually I got into journaling my memories, my remembered conversations with my parents, my psychic hits about the past – my childhood. I needed to figure this out. What I had to learn was there was no rational, logical way to analyze this or understand it. I had to take back my power through feeling, playing with the sensations, & following my instincts.

It took work to calm the rage, befriend the feelings, honor the inner wisdom that I could be guided by my Spirit back to my true essence. I had to surrender to the invisible force to guide me back to safety, wholeness and inner peace.